Of late, I have noticed a difference in me. I have become stoic. No emotions, nothing makes me happy, sad... no feelings at all. There used to be a time when I used to enjoy every small thing I did. Be it pressing my clothes, running on treadmill, washing car, fixing a bug, playing TT, getting up early, I used to enjoy every bit of it. The joy after so much of physical effort was really rewarding.
But, what has happened to me now. I don't feel anything, but still I do all the things. Yesterday, I washed the car under scorching sun but at the end, I didn't feel the joy that I used to. Everything has become a routine job. At the same time, I don't neglect anything.
I did a lot of experimenting on myself. I watched stupid movies like 'mera pehla pehla pyar' in which the word 'logic' has no meaning at all. 'Escape to Africa' in HD failed to please me. Very good movie like 'Moggina Manasu' became a timepass. Trekking in the Sharavathi valley last week also failed to revive me.
I didn't feel bad when I was asked to work on weekend and mandatory holidays. In fact I am online now to fix some issues and I don't want to crib about it. I have not been able to meet my buddy Sridhar for 3 days, but still I am not feeling bad about it...
Hmm... Something has really gone wrong with me. I am planning to watch a horror movie alone to see if I get scared. I think Exorcist may be a good option. I have to find my way back to normalcy, I know I won't let myself be consumed by stoicism, but this has seriously reached its high.