All along the way to home today, after reaching home, I have this strange feeling. I was not normal. My heart feels heavy, mind confused, I am totally blank. It was like the sixth sense at work.
Unable to comprehend what was happening to me, I just sat in my room alone. It was a terrible feeling, I had to sort it out, otherwise I know I can't sleep for days.
I just sat alone and started introspecting. What happened today. I had just resigned from my job at Honeywell. What does it mean?
1) I am unemployed. There is no protection.
2) I will not get salary. I have planned to take care of stuff for few months.
3) The world outside is wild. There is no corporate might that protects interests. I am prepared for this.
4) I have to work harder. I love this.
5) I will no longer meet, talk to my friends regularly - Yes. The heart beat is confirming, this is the reason for my mood swing. I am afraid that I am going to miss wonderful people I was working with. I am going to miss tea times, all interesting discussion during lunch, deep technical discussions, debugging and solving problems, spontaneous humor. This is what I am going to miss most. I am already feeling lighter as I discovered the reason. I convince myself, I can be in touch with my friends by various means. So, it is like going onsite, though there is no Lync or Outlook as in corporate, but there are WhatsApps and Facebooks in social space.
At the end of this writeup, I am feeling relaxed and lighter. Things are getting clear.I think I need a really heavy movie to cheer back, I think Shawshank Redemption will do the job.