My fight with Existential crisis

I am sure at some point in time, everyone faces one or more of these questions

• What is the purpose of my life?
• Why should I exist?
• Who is going to remember me when I am gone?
• How should anyone remember me as, when I am no more?
• Does anyone know/care that I exist?
• Why should I achieve anything at all in life?

and so on....
When faced one or more of above questions, you are dealing with "Existential Crisis". (Actually, I did not know that it is a general term even when I chose the title of this post!!)

Since, I am writing this post, it is very clear that I am currently facing Existential crisis. If I think deeply, I know I will get into depression. So, without giving into the easy ways, let me document my ways of fighting with it. Although, I had my own downtime of couple of weeks.
The solution is simple - "A sound mind in a fit body".

How to achieve a fit body - Simple Join a gym. I was so lucky, I should thank my cousin Ganesha who introduced me to Cult.fit. It is changing my life beyond I could imagine. As of today, I have lost 10kg of weight in 5 months. I am actually in a jolly good mood now.
I enjoy weight and strength exercise, dancing, boxing and prowl.

• Cover at least 100km of bicycle ride each month.
• Walk at least 30km each month.

To keep track of my resolutions, I must keep posting my progress every month here. I am doing it for myself, so no cheating here :)
So, I tackled my "Fit body" problem.

Then comes to tough one - the sound mind. Mind is something that is extremely volatile. There is no limit to the train of thoughts that pass through the mind. Most of the times, I wonder how I ended up with a particular thought. The train is lost! It is extremely difficult to keep the mind from wavering around. It steals away sleep. No matter how much tired the body is, if the mind does not stop its activity, it is a sleepless night. I had my quota of sleep deprivation. My overall productivity hit the bottom. I had to do something to stay relevant in the universe. Thats where I went to my friends for help. And below are my resolutions to take the flaky mind to a sound one.

• Read lot of books - Starting with "Travel gods must be crazy"
• Learn a new language - Spanish
• Learn a new skill - Learning guitar since 3 weeks.
• Regular journal of my activities (hence this post!)
• Master a technology - Machine Learning and AI
• Give the world, something it needs, free of cost - Teach somethings I am good at. This is still being shaped.

Wow, so many things to achieve in one short life, what I am waiting for.... Hey, world here I come!

Actually writing this post itself is bringing a lot of positive impact.

Recent movies about intense love

After almost more than a decade, I watched a Telugu movie, Dear Comrade. I watched it because I loved the Kannada version of the song - "Kadalante kaada kannu". It is kind of crazy, liked the Kannada song and watched the Telugu movie. But that is not the point.

The movie was quite refreshing. I don't want to go over the story line, but want to document my take on 'love', the intense version of it.

Another movie is Kabir Singh. I didn't know its original is Arjun Reddy, until a friend told me. I watched this movie after falling in love with its songs.

In both the movies, the boy and girl love each other intensely. Both movies deliberately ignore the details or the reason for their intense love. It is just given. Once we fall in love, we can't find reasons for it. The suffering after break up, is so intense and painful. Both the girl and the boy go through it. The more you love, the more you suffer due to break-up. The suffering just increases, because both love each other, and both think they are correct. Their reason is not selfishness, not to inflict pain in other, not hatred for someone, not misunderstanding, but it is pure love for one another. Both are ready to sacrifice anything, both love each other, but something keeps them apart. That is the strangeness of love. Somethings can't be explained at all. 

Perhaps a quite introspection could have helped, but things suddenly go out of hand due to aggression and anger. In both movies, it is shown that more suffering makes the love more intense. Not sure if that is the case in real life.

I started this post to express something, but I failed due to lack of words. Perhaps that is love, you can't express in words, you have to feel it. Finally it is love that wins over everything in the world.

A sound mind and productivity

A sound mind can do miracles. Even though it is very apparent, I failed to record the earlier episodes in my journal.

We all go through ups and downs in our life continuously, of course, that is life. When we face situations where we can not make decisions because we think whatever we decide is going to alter the course of our life. Actually the random events change the life more often.
The mind keeps weighing various options and starts projecting how each decision is going to affect the future. In this phase of life, the productivity is at its lowest. Because the mind is occupied with analysis of endless combination of inputs, decision and outcomes, we ignore to notice apparently obvious things.
At this point, friends play an important role. They provide perspectives that our mind is not capable of, due to its preoccupied thoughts. If things lead to depression, expert consultation helps.
But in my case, most of the times, I come out of this phase eventually (of course after couple of sleepless nights and some tragedy movies!), and voila, things become quite clear. I wonder, why was I not able to think this way.

Once the mind is on a high tide, we miraculously achieve many things, solve problems. I wonder how many people on this earth are fighting their own war. What if everyone makes peace with mind and become productive. We can make earth a much better place!!

I stumbled upon a Medium article about how to stop thinking. I liked these lines from it - No matter how much you want to achieve in the future, and no matter how much you’ve suffered in the past, appreciate that you are alive now.